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Stinky Sulfur Awards are Dedicated to things that STINK!
No book, no product, nobody is safe from this award. If it STINKS it Wins! It's controversial. It's offensive. It's fun. And it ensures that our health does not get skunked by such stink.
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| Stinky Sulfur Awards |
People’s Chemist Issues Stinky Sulfur Award to Planet Zetia
Great news! A $10 heart cure will teach you how to avoid heart disease despite cholesterol levels! And this award confirms it - cholesterol not guilty.
I’ve traveled the entire USA speaking on the Hidden Truth About Cholesterol Lowering Drugs (statins). Regardless of where I’m at or to whom I’m speaking to, one thing remains true; prescription drug users (doctors and patients alike) cannot give me one good reason why they are eating the cholesterol lowering drugs – statins. They can only give me lame excuses:
“Heart disease runs in my family.”
“My cholesterol was over 200.”
“My doctor said I was crazy not to be on a statin.”
“My bad cholesterol – LDL – is too high.”
These are the ramblings of Direct-to-Consumer (DTC) advertising zombies - people who can only regurgitate what they saw on TV the night before. It’s gotten so bad, I’ve even been verbally puked on by doctors and their twit wives who insist that cholesterol lowering drugs are such a miracle that they should be given to children and be added to drinking water. I simply ask “why?” Blanks stares across the board…
I try to live by a general rule: Don’t shove anything down your pie-hole unless you fully understand the biochemical impact. Sure, I’ve made exceptions like chewing tobacco (who knows what they add to those tobacco leaves) as a teen (or a celebratory wine drinking author) and “whippits” in college. Still, I’d choose either one over daily statin use. Regardless, I thought this was a common sense approach to deciding what you swallow. But, judging from the millions of people blindly eating cholesterol lowering drugs, this rule appears to be as foreign as a non-vaccinated kid in public school.
What the hell is going on? Have we been invaded by statin pushing aliens? This is a legit question. It’s been well established that cholesterol lowering drugs DO NOT prevent heart disease. To promote them, you’d have to be from a different planet. Consider the most recent findings:
“The long-awaited results of a trial of Zetia, a cholesterol-lowering drug prescribed to about a million Americans, shows the drug confers no medical benefit to users [despite its ability to lower cholesterol]. In fact, the pace at which artery-clogging plaques formed within vessels almost doubled in patients taking Zetia (ezetimibe) along with another cholesterol-lowering drug, Zocor (simvastatin), compared to those taking Zocor alone, the study found.” -HealthDay, 2008
Still though, millions of American’s stuff their face with Zetia and other statins. There is definitely an alien influence here ‘cause such behavior cannot be explained with Earth logic.
Therefore, I recently commissioned NASA to utilize the Hubble Telescope to scan the sky for perhaps a “statin” planet – home to statin aliens who could perhaps be invading our planet to brainwash us all…I told them to program the Hubble to “sniff” something that smelled like Merck, Pfizer and Schering-Plough’s statin propaganda: bullshit.
After an arduous search – funded by the billions of dollars I make from my $10 Hidden Truths book – astronomers detected the atmosphere of a planet outside of our solar system. The Hubble electronically “smelled” the odiferous stench 150 light years from Earth.
A NASA spokesman told me that, “The combination of elements detected in the atmosphere imparted an odor similar to “rotten egg fart.”
I immediately seized the opportunity and named the celestial space-turd Zetia, after Merck and Schering-Plough’s “far-away” sounding prescription drug nomenclature. I also gave it a Stinky Sulfur Award.
Zetia’s atmosphere is estimated to contain as much sulfur gas as 100 trillion cow patties. Its moon Zocor, orbits a yellow, sun-like star called Greed – located a billion light-years from the constellation Logic. It appears to be made mostly of feces mixed with ice, hydrogen sulfide and Escherichia coli bacteria.
NASA is now striving to detect life on Zetia. Scientists warned that Zetia inhabitants would stink so bad that we Earthlings might not want to meet them face to face. I insisted that we already have, and it's not intelligent life: they are known as Zetia sales reps, statin pushing doctors, DTC advertising actors and Dr. Robert Jarvik. All of ‘em smell like shit and none of ‘em have Earth logic. Akin to waiting in line for a toilet at a football game – Earth has simply become numb to the stench. If we were not numb to it, the whole country would be outraged at the lies and deceit (stench) spread by Big Pharma on the airwaves and via our medical doctors.
“On Earth, cholesterol naturally rises as human’s age. The elderly with the highest levels of cholesterol (greater than 300 mg/dL) live longest (compared to those with 200 mg/dL) and vice-versa. Further, there is only ONE type of cholesterol in the human body. It’s called…Cholesterol. There is no such thing as good cholesterol, bad cholesterol or total cholesterol. It’s just cholesterol. And it’s not a poison.” -The People’s Chemist
The Stinky Sulfur Award was officially given to the giant space loaf Zetia in the upcoming issue of Astronomical Journal. After all, this finding is astronomical. But the expenditure of over $10 billion on ineffective and dangerous drugs – like Zetia, Zocor, Lipitor, Crestor, Mevacor, and Pravachol – within the USA is out of this world.
The next step is for America to unite and round-up all those who carry the Zetia stench and send their stinky asses back to the alien planet they came from. Copy and paste this and send it to everyone you know...And learn the true cause of heart disease and how to beat it naturally with The Hidden Truth about Cholesterol Lowering Drugs – a mere $10 investment! See www.thepeopleschemist.com.
Award courtesy of Shane Ellison and Chuck Stockdale
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