Stinky Sulfur Awards are Dedicated to things that STINK!

No book, no product, nobody is safe from this award. If it STINKS it Wins! It's controversial. It's offensive. It's fun. And it ensures that our health does not get skunked by such stink.

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Award Recipient - Ty Pennington of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

Pharmaceutical fellatio is the act (or art) of hyping drugs orally to help Big Pharma achieve orgasmic profits. I've never done it myself - even as a drug design chemist.

Sure, I've had a lap dance by Big Pharma. But that's as far as it went. After rubbing up on me with hefty stock options and sultry retirement benefits I walked away. The addiction, pain, suffering and financial servitude that goes along with using pharmaceutical drugs prevented me from getting overly excited about my career as a corporate drug cook. But celebrities are easily excited by Big Pharma money and are quick to get on their knees. Ty Pennington is a perfect example. Most people know Ty from his hit show Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. And some people know Ty as the Hollywood star who was arrested on 05/08/2007 for DUI. But thanks to Direct-to-Consumer advertising by Big Pharma, America knows Ty as the pharmaceutical fellatio king for his role in pushing Aspirin for Bayer. He insists that because he uses it, so should you.

Prior to DTC advertising, pharmaceutical fellatio was only performed by medical doctors. This group of "experts" is notorious for bypassing patient safety for the pleasure of their pharmaceutical cohorts. Physicians write on average 14 prescriptions per American every year! Today, celebrities like Ty have joined in for a Big Pharma threesome by touting drug benefits on our airwaves, while discounting the dangers.

Shame on you Ty. I used to enjoy your work, dedication and carpentry skill - up to the point where you got cozy with Big Pharma. In a matter of 30 seconds, you destroyed your name by selling out to Bayer to push drugs to your fans. Now, the name ty and pennington are mud and I don't even want to capitalize them. If you were here right now, I'd smack you with a rolled up wad of medical journals to express my discontent for your derelict behavior. But you're not, so my Stinky Sulfur Award will have to suffice.

Before the award ceremony takes place, let me expose the hidden truth about Aspirin and what your ex-fans can use in place of it.

Contrary to popular belief, Bayer did not "invent" Aspirin. Mother Nature did. And Bears (not the Chicago Bears but the big furry ones you find in the woods) discovered it. Thousands of years ago, humans witnessed injured bears gnawing on the bark of white willow trees. Some dude, probably an earlier rendition of The People's Chemist, assumed that this was done to relieve pain. Hung over from his moonshine, he made a tea from the bark and tried it himself. Instantly, his pain was gone. So others followed. Around 200 B.C Greek physician Hippocrates apparently heard about the tea and prescribed willow bark to his patients to reduce pain and fever. Eventually, Big Pharma got their greedy hands into the mix, which laid the groundwork for the eventual synthesis of a molecule known as salicin – one of many ingredients found in white willow bark.

To the distress of Big Pharma, they could not market salicin as their own because it is a natural ingredient. In order to have a monopoly, they had to alter it a bit. Chemist Carl R. Gerhardt was the first to do so in 1853 by synthesizing acetylsalicylic acid (ASA). Bayer trademarked the anti-platelet drug as Aspirin in 1889 and it is now used in place of white willow bark. But it isn't nearly as safe. The small molecular change made for big dangers.

Aspirin depletes the body of life-saving nutrients. These nutrients include folic acid, iron, potassium, sodium and vitamin C. Symptoms associated with such depletion include: anemia, birth defects, elevated homocysteine (a risk factor for heart disease), headache, depression, fatigue, hair loss, insomnia, diarrhea, shortness of breath, pale skin and suppression of the immune system. Internal bleeding is also a real and present danger.

The side effects of Aspirin are so severe that they can cause a higher death rate relative to the populations who do not take it.(1) Each year, a grossly underestimated 7600 deaths and 76,000 hospitalizations occur in the United States from use of Aspirin and other NSAIDS like Motrin, Aleve, and Celebrex. Only about 10% of deaths caused by NSAIDS are reported. Death by drugs is usually attributed to the patient being either too damn sick or too damn old.

Aspirin use is yet another example of how marketing hype, courtesy of celebrities with a pharmaceutical fellatio fetish, can supercede science.

Fortunately, the pain relieving ability, as well as any purported cardiovascular benefits, of Aspirin can be procured without risk. Simply use the forgotten tea white willow bark, ginger, high dose MSM, cayenne, or certain types of grape seed extracts. The track records of these natural products are impeccable. I've used them with great success for broken bones and the rare hangover.

So here is to you ty pennington. Your shameless promotion of Aspirin stinks. You are hereby granted The People's Chemist Stinky Sulfur Award. I hope the stench sticks for years to come. But I don't want it to linger within the halls of all those beautiful homes you build for those very deserving families.

By Shane Ellison, M.Sc.
Author Health Myths Exposed and Hidden Truth about Cholesterol Lowering Drugs
Organic Chemist
www.thepeopleschemist.com

References

1. Kauffman, Joel. Should You Take Aspirin to Prevent Heart Attack? Journal of Scientific Exploration. 2000;14(4):623-641.

2. http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/anti-flammatory-000196.htm

3. http://www.annals.org/cgi/content/full/127/6/429 More Stinky Sulfur Awards Coming Soon!